I work 72 hrs a week to pay off bills (only my bills) and come home and have to clean and make meals and then clean up after meals. He takes my plate to the sink and helps prepare like an onion but then just hangs out. He will help if I ask but doesn't ever offer to make anything in the kitchen even spagetti for me when i am to tired to eat. He rarely vacuums, but he did take the trash out the other day i was excited. I don't want to sound like a nag or a b* so I don't say anything. But this is annoying and I don't know how to get him to help out with domestic life. I need some good tactics.
Answers:
sounds like he doesn't realize that there is a problem.
some people need to be told to do everything.
it is no nagging to ask him if he would do some of the things that need to be done,
you have to be specific, like would you mind taking out the trash for me?
as far as cooking, a lot of men do not know how.
order in pizza and let him pay.
on your days off spend time in the kitchen and make it a fun time with him, teaching him how to make simple recipes.
just like you would with a 10 year old.
make up a list of things to be done and ask him which ones he is willing to do.
put the list in a prominent place and check off what has been done.
if he really loves you and wants to be with you then he should care about how you think about him.
not everyone was raised to be a responsible person.
his mother might have done everything for him and he just does not know better.
You might just want to sit down and have a heart-to-heart chat with him, letting him know you feel overwhelmed and overworked. and see if he figures out he is part of the problem.
By the way, what does this have to do with dogs?
Woof
as they say . nothings works better than to talk about your concerns to him . don't yell . just be honest about how tired you are sometimes and what you wish to happen . i'm sure he will know what to do next time without being told.
it is about dogs?
If you can handle some dirtiness for a while, you could go on strike. Hopefully he would be used to a clean house and might start cleaning at least a little. Then it's time to jump in and praise him like crazy!
Now I know why you put it in the dog section. Just tell him you need help. You don't have to be mean or sarcastic about it. Just tell him you work hard and need him to help with things more often. If he slips up ask him to do some things you need done. If he still has to be asked down the road then give him the nasty bathroom cleaning job or other things he hates. Then he just might do a couple things just so you wont ask him to do the things he hates. A partnership takes time and grooming. He probably doesn't know you need help as you have never said anything to him. Communication!!~
just talk to him about it and explain that you need some help around the house. im assuming you guys live together, why not set up some chore schedule? when he does help out remember to thank him or compliment him. youre not being a ** or nagging either. hes your boyfriend, im sure he'll be glad to help.
I believe it is going to be a lifelong habit..
You either have to accept being his mama, or move on..complaining won't do a thing, other than cause more tension..
..People are either thoughtful or not. We are all givers or takers..You have landed a taker..
.If he's a grown man, he has decided that it is his privilege in life to be waited on..I'm not trying to be rude or smart aleck, but just a realist who won't offer false hope.
So, either adjust your expectations and decide to live with YOUR choice, or choose to make changes in your life.
He has made his choice..You are not going to change him..
Wow this is a bit of a sticky situation ,on one hand you do deserve help ,on the other you shouldn't have to mother your bf. Most adults cant just walk by a mess.,especially a full trash can.It sounds like someone wasn't raised the same as you. So hit him where it hurts most, In his wallet.Sit him down and tell him you want his help finding a house keeper at a decent rate and that he will be responsible for the bill or at least half. I bet he rolls those sleeves up , and ask you to tie his apron strings.
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